I know it's stupid, but I'm nervous. B and I are going to look for apartments this afternoon, and I'm excited, nervous, and sad. Excited because I love him to bits, nervous because the last time I lived on my own was iffy, and sad because this means that I'm pretty much stuck here for the next two years of school.
I just... I haven't gotten an *official* rejection from my first choice, and I'm wait listed at my second choice. I don't want to admit that my dreams are dead right now, and signing the lease is saying that I have failed. (Yes, I'm feeling overdramatic.)
I just... I love him, I want to live with him, but I don't want to live here with him. If he was coming with me to D.C. for school, I would be like "Lets get married, get into married student housing, and be mad passionate in love." I'm done with this area. I can't find a job, I don't really like the college, and the overall vibe isn't me. I want to live in an area that is full of life, and this area is in bed by midnight.
I'm hoping that we will find some fantastic place, and I won't have to worry about it. Or, perhaps, I could get accepted at my first choice and get out. Either way, I will be out of here soon, and I'm excited.