I don't usually get annoyed by these things, but today I read an article/posty thing that both annoyed me and made me wonder.
The post was a woman asking for advice, her husband wanted her to delete her facebook because he was afraid that she would talk to men/have an affair. Women were telling her to delete it or let him patrol it, and to be quite honest I was appalled.
As I have said in the past, I have been with the same man for just over a year. We have had our rough patches (no affairs, my one dealbreaker) but worked through them and are looking at moving in with each other in the fall. He would never, ever ask me to do anything of the sort, and I wouldn't do it even if he did.
I have always held that a relationship is two (or more, depending on your preference) people who have decided to live their lives together. They are still individuals, but they function as a team. He agrees. When we live together, we will split the bills, pay for our individual wants, and possibly share a vehicle. This allows us to have a mutual, equal relationship.
I cannot fathom allowing him to have control of my life. He and I are friends on facebook, but we do not have our statuses as "in relationship." We simply have a blank relationship status. I know that I mention him a lot here, but that is because this blog reflects a great deal of my personal life. In my professional life, I don't discuss my relationship. I have many male work friends and school friends, go to lunch with them, and but I come home to my beloved.
I am a very friendly person, and very bubbly. I like people! B is the same way, and that is why we work out. I don't worry that he has female friends, and he doesn't worry that I have male friends. It has backfired once, when a man was attracted to me, I turned him down, and he then accused me of cheating. I had proof that I wasn't even in town the day he said he saw me at the mall with this man, but I never had to use it. B trusts me beyond the shadow of a doubt. He laughed about it when he heard. (I will probably post about what happened at some point, but I had driven my mum to a city about two hours away for a full day of medical appointments. There was literally no way that I could have been where he said I was.)
Aside from that, we have never had a problem, and I guess that is why I look at posts like that woman's with horror. I mean, how terrible would it be to be in a relationship with that level of mistrust? I think that the best relationship is the one that doesn't force you to give up your identity. A good relationship should enhance it, not destroy it.
What do you think?