I have been worrying about stupid crap lately. Money, mostly. Worrying about finding a job near my university this fall, being able to pay the rent on our apartment, etc. Wondering if everything is going to stay amazing with my boyfriend when I move in, and if his friends are going to like me, and if I should stick with my current majors or go to med school.
And then today I saw that Steve Jobs resigned, and it looks like it is due to health problems. I realized that life is unpredictable. I mean, he has worked his ass off. He is brilliant, dedicated, and hard working. One of the wealthiest men in the States. And he has no way to control this, no way to stop this.
It was sobering, and I guess I realized that, while I have to work towards my future, I have to let go a little bit. Money may be tight this fall, I might go hungry, and I may not have a fucking clue as to whether or not I will be an behavioral science/forensic anthropology major or a neurosurgeon.
I'm not stupid enough to say I'm okay with it. I'm anxious, jittery, and running five directions at once. I won't be okay with this for a while. Eventually, I will be, and that is what I'm holding on to.