1,001 Beautiful Things: Days 25-31

Doing better in something you love. This is the second term that I've taken ballet, and I really love it. The instructor complimented me on my form, and it made me smile. Will I ever be amazing? No. But I want to be the absolute best that I can be.

Being more responsible. Lately I have actually been writing down appointments and assignments in my little diary, and actually checking it and following through. It is very nice. 

♥

Dressing up, even when I don't feel like it. Sometimes I get a bit reclusive and distant when I'm tired/hurt. This week I've been pretty tired, but I'm still forcing myself to do my hair, nails and makeup. I actually feel better afterwards! 

♥

Choosing to act happy for someone else's sake. I have decided to give it another go with him. He says that I make him happy. I will put an effort in, and I will really try to be more positive whenever I am around him. Our relationship ended because he got snippy with me, and I just turned off. I will try to stay "on" this time. 

Watching my skin clear up. I have been using tretinoin cream for the past two weeks in an attempt to clear up my skin. Initially, it got really bad. It is just now starting to clear up, and it makes me happy. 

♥

Doing something useful when I can't sleep. I have had a bit of insomnia lately because I have been a bit worried about college applications/interviews. When I get worried, I exercise more and somehow sleep less. I used to try to force myself to stay in bed, try to convince myself that the nighttime yoga and Sleepytime tea were going to kick in soon, and I just needed to stay in bed. Now? I get up, read some blogs, do my nails, tidy up my bedroom/bathroom, something. If I am going to be awake, I'm going to be productive. 

Guess what? It actually helps me manage to fall asleep eventually! I guess the lack of pressure helps. 

All images from weheartit, if it is yours please let me know and I will credit! 

Tomorrow is the start of a new term.

I'm a bit nervous. Anyway...

• I'm going to start doing my beautiful things post once a week, on Monday. 
• I'm going to post some outfit pictures this week.
• I'm going to go for frozen yogurt tomorrow!!!! I love frozen yogurt

Image via weheartit

Redesign

I'm currently working on the look of this page! I want my little space here to really reflect who I am, and it is taking a tiny bit longer than I expected.

I intend to have it finished by Sunday evening, and I have a few things to post shortly thereafter.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 25

I have this friend — I love her, but she can be a complete and utter cow sometimes. Today, however, she gave me the most unexpected unintentional compliment.

She told me that I've never been the hookup type.

I'm not the type of girl who wants to get married, and I never have. I don't like the idea of being chained. Some take this view to mean that I like to sleep around/can't commit. That isn't true, and it was nice to know that she sees that.

I like committed relationships, mainly because I don't want diseases/I really, really like cuddles. Really. I mean cuddles in an innocent way — the idea of coming home to someone after a wretched day makes me all warm inside. I just don't need to be married to be committed to someone, and I don't believe that you only have one great love in your life — I believe that you can have two or three people who you really love, and who love you with all of themselves.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 24

Getting an unexpected email that may or may not mean something.

I got an email to set up an alumni interview from Georgetown. I will be meeting on Friday, and I have no idea if this means that I have a fighting chance, or if it is just another hoop that they set up for everyone. I want this.

At least it means that they opened my application and didn't instantly want to throw it away?

Moving forward.

Friday was my nineteenth birthday. It was a weird year — not great, but not bad. Strange is a good word to describe it.

This is what I want to do this coming year:

— I want to be more open to love. I had my first "real" relationship this year. It was a whopping 6 or 7 months, and it was awkward. I constantly felt fat and ugly. Part of it was me, and part of it was him constantly telling me that his mum/friends couldn't stand me/found me immature/knew I was going to hurt him. I finally decided to break it off, but I learned that I need to find someone who is able to give as much as they get. I am very energetic, passionate, and intense. I want to be with someone who is my equal — willing and able to go for a five mile run, and then strip down and hop into the random creek we find along the way without being annoyed by my attention span.

I am very independent. I tend to distance myself from people when they get too close, and I want to let people in. I don't mean this in a strictly romantic sense. I want to make more friends, and if a man comes along, I want to let them get close too. I'm not saying that I want a SO, because for the first time in a long time, I'm okay with being single.

— I want to become more confident in myself, and I want to find and create an environment that allows for me to do that. To me, this involves a few different things;

-I need to be eating healthier and taking better care of my body. I'm a "bad" vegetarian. Sometimes people assume that vegetarianism involves a lot of vegetables. Not always true, and Oreos are vegan. My  body does play a role in my confidence level, and while I want to learn to love myself no matter how my skin looks or what I way, I also need to accept the facts. My family has a history of obesity, diabetes, and heart problems. I don't want to die of something so avoidable. I'm thinking about getting some sort of Zumba certification so that I could teach a few classes while I'm in school.

-I have finally started embracing my true style. In my area, people go to class in dirty pajama pants. I go to class in red lipstick and stilettos. For a while, I tried to cut back on everything, putting away the heels and lipstick. I wasn't happy, and now I'm getting back into it. The pencil skirts, the lipsticks, the perfumes, all of it.

—I want to get my passport.

—I want to travel to another country.

—I want to have an average of $1,000 in my bank account. Money is almost always tight for me, and I want to get a job that pays enough for me to keep a steady balance in my account, so that I'm not dreading car repairs/incidentals.

— I want to really embrace this blog. There are so many people out there with so much knowledge, and I have been doing nothing but take from them for so long. I want to sort of fill up my little spot of internet with my knowledge, and help other people learn from my mistakes.

Note to self:

Placing Etsy orders via Droid X: Not a good idea if any sort of message is going to be sent. Midway through my comment of "Your product names are the height of awesomeness"I managed to hit send... with just "awesomeness" going through. At least it was capitalized?

Smartphone? Only if it means making its owner look like a complete and utter moron.

1,001 Beautiful things: Day 23

Watching a terrible movie on Netflix, and not caring that I've wasted my time.

I'm usually so busy during the term that I am significantly displeased if I waste two hours on something mediocre.

I watched American Psycho 2, and it was terrible. Guess what? I didn't care! It was actually kind of hilarious, and I just sat there and enjoyed the insanely unrealistic plot.

Bobbi Brown Lip Balm SPF 15

My parents tell me that I am very difficult to buy for. I don't think that I am, but they let me pick out what I wanted and put it on their Nordstrom card.

I walked all through cosmetics, looked longingly at the Chanel foundations that I am far too pale for, and was waved down by the woman at Bobbi Brown.

I actually hadn't used Bobbi Brown before, and I sat there and let her do my makeup. I bought everything she put on, aside from the base moisturizers. (I plan on buying them eventually, but I'm trying to use up what I already have before moving on. I never use up anything, and I'm trying to work towards being less wasteful.)

I am going to post a review of everything, but on an individual basis because I don't want this to be a mile long post.

I have been wearing this balm daily for the past two weeks. I have worn it under lipstick, over lip pencil, and alone. I absolutely adore it. It is rather stiff and takes some time to warm up the first time, but becomes progressively softer/easy to apply time goes on.

It was $17, and while that seems expensive for a balm, it was completely worth it and I will definitely buy it again.

Pros:
Non-stick. My hair loves my lip products, and my windy area helps it out in its quest to ruin my makeup. This balm doesn't move, but doesn't feel or look dry.

Long lasting. I apply it on my way out of the house, and then again after lunch. It wears off some, but nowhere near as much as some other products I've tried.

Large pot. I have been using it daily for two weeks or so, and it looks nearly new. I have huge lips, this is no small feat.

Beautiful color. I am super pale, and this makes my normally-pale lips look healthy and alive.

Cons:
Comes in a pot. I'm a student and constantly around people who are sick. This has made me a bit germ phobic, and I hate having to haul out hand sanitizer and wash my hands every time I want to reapply my lip balm.


Overall, I'm in love.

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1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 22

A new perfume. I have loved Flowerbomb since the first time I smelled it, but never bought it because I my now-ex boyfriend hated it and a close friend called it old.

I bought myself a bottle of it on Friday, as a celebration of my nineteenth birthday and my surprisingly awesome grades this term. I put it on, and I feel beautiful.

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I live my life in grey.

I love grey nail polish, and I recently went hunting for a new one. I went into Target while waiting for a friend to get out of a meeting, and came across this lovely little polish: NYC in a New York minute quick dry polish in Sidewalkers.

I was able to get it for super cheap - $1.60 I believe, and I'm rather impressed.

Pros:
The brush is flat. A serious plus for me, and I'm always a bit surprised that more expensive brands haven't started doing that as well.

It has surprising payoff - two coats gave me a beautiful, consistent color.

Long lasting - I was able to wear it for a week, though under an excellent topcoat. However, I have worn the topcoat with crummy polishes before, and it peeled right off. I believe this is a fairly decent polish.

It does dry fast - I can have a full manicure in fifteen minutes.

Cons:

Th brush picks up a lot of polish, and the polish is a bit runny. If you don't pay attention, you will end up with failure on your finger.


Would I buy this again? Yes. Is it my last grey polish? No, because I'm always in search of the perfect grey. This is a lovely color, and cheap enough to become a go-to product for me.

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1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 21

Birthdays.

Today was my nineteenth birthday,  and I'm dead tired. Details tomorrow :)

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 20

Getting complimented on something you are a bit insecure about.

I know that my hair color has become a bit of an ongoing thing here, but I have just felt kind of meh about it lately — like maybe I'm too pale for the black, and so on.

Today, someone complimented me on my hair, and it was a relief. I try not to put too much stock in people's opinion of me, but sometimes the comments add up and make me doubt myself. This one compliment did a lot for me, and it strengthened my resolve.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 19

I took my last final for the term today, and it is one of the most beautiful feelings ever.

I now have over a week to do absolutely nothing, and it is fantastic.

Beautiful.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 18.

Unexpected bits of niceness. I had to go in to get a report from my college dean for a transfer application, and I was in a bit of a rush. I didn't notice that I needed to bring a stamped envelope, and I was sort of blushing over how unprepared I seemed.

The woman who filled it out was quite nice though, and said that it was very common to forget the envelope. She filled out the paper, put it in her own envelope, and sent it out for me. It sounds cheesy, but it really made me happy.

What I'm going to do these next few months....

Tomorrow is my last final for this term, and then I have a week break before next term. I've decided to set a few goals for the next term just so that I can have the joy of checking them off and the ability to have a record of what I have done.

These are my goals for Wednesday, March 16th to Wednesday, June 15th.

— I want to run 7 miles a day between now and the first day of next term (Wednesday the 16th to Sunday the 20th.) Not for any particular reason, but I'm not a runner and I want to see if I can force myself to actually push it that far.

— I want to read 25 books, and review them here. I tend to read far less during the term, and I don't like that I have gone from reading for pleasure all the time to watching Netflix for pleasure instead.

— Moisturize!!!! I tend to be incredibly lazy with the body moisturizing thing because I have average skin. I don't get super dry so I just kind of blow it off. My skin looks way better when I actually put a tiny bit of effort in, and I want to try to moisturize twice a day.

— Eat healthily. I'm a bit pudgy right now, and it is from a diet that consists mainly of Mentos and cupcakes. I don't really want/need to lose weight, but I do need to watch what I eat. I think that it might help me avoid getting a cold again too :( This isn't a very defined goal, but basically have more "good" food choices than poor ones.

— Exercise! I'm taking a yoga class along with my ballet class this term, so I should be fairly well covered on this goal.

— I want to force myself to remove my makeup before I go to bed every night. I'm really terrible about this, and I'm not quite sure why. I'm quite obsessive about brushing my teeth before bed, but I tend to get distracted with other things and I end up falling asleep with the day still on my face. Icky, and I'm sure that contributes to my occasional blemishes.

— I want to post 20 outfit of the day posts. I always plan to do one, and then I get lazy and don't.

— I want to comment on other people's blogs every day. See, I read a lot of fashion/lifestyle blogs, and I am always too chicken to comment. The thing is that I really wouldn't mind having people comment on my blog, and I'm sure they feel the same way. Why am I so chicken?

— I want to post 50 product reviews. I have a lot of nail polish/makeup. I'm not kidding, it is what I use to reward myself when I have a good day, and to boost my spirits when I have a bad day.

— I want to create my own layout over spring break. I have been wanting to teach myself some basic web design stuff, and I have just been lazy about it.

— I want to continue my 1,001 beautiful things posts daily. I'm trying to find one beautiful thing in each day, and it isn't always easy. I'm hoping this will get me in the habit of it.

Monday Muse: This is rad

From here — awesome photographer.

This woman is beautiful. It is almost haunting, the idea that the older women we see and write off were exactly like us, if not more beautiful. It must be difficult to go from being a knockout to still being beautiful but no longer attracting every eye in the room.  

I had a feeling.

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And it turned out to be a legitimate one. I went in, psych final was BAD and then I saw my old writing instructor. You know that feeling you have when you just know that no matter how much you like a person, you don't want to talk to them right now? Where you just want to go home/go to your room/be alone?

I had that feeling, and I was rushing to my car and tried to walk past him. I really, really did. It wasn't out of cruelty, I just didn't feel like chatting after the miserable final and I wanted to get home to finish off all the things that I have due tonight.

He flagged me down though, we made small talk, and I mentioned that my fallback if I don't get into any of the universities that I am applying to is the military. He was freaked out, and then mentioned my offensive humor and how it was a stretch to say I was funny and nice on my professor recommendation.

I admit, I kind of walked into it by saying "What is a limb or two?" in a sad, sarcastic way when he mentioned that women lose limbs in combat, and by saying that I probably wouldn't get to be in a real action-oriented area. Still, he was deeply shocked/offended and I was a bit surprised by that, and I feel bad.

Once again, I am not enough, and I feel crappy for it.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 17

Making a choice and sticking to it.

I dye my hair, and right now it is a blue-black color. I don't really look goth, but I am pale. I worry about seeming goth, and someone commented on it, and it freaked me out.

For the past two weeks I've contemplated going back to brown, even though I really love my current color.  I decided today that I'm not going to cave, and I'm going to continue dying it — life is too short to yield to someone else's opinions.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 16

I know that two tea posts in a row may seem a bit excessive, but I occasionally forget my tea and leave it on the counter/table/easily accessible area. I have four cats, and they love tea more than I do – my cat will come to bed with green tea breath all the time, and it always makes me smile.

Seeing my Evee with her nose in my cup is truly a beautiful sight.

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1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 15

The sound that Splenda makes when it dissolves in hot tea is beautiful. I have mad affection for Sleepytime Vanilla tea, and I have a massive cup of it every night — with a decent amount of Splenda in it. I love that moment when I pull the tea bags out, and pour in the Splenda and listen to the popping/fizzing sound of it dissolving. Beautiful.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 14

I know that this has been a recurring theme lately, but I had the most awesome conversation with a guy from class today. I talked to him for two hours, and looking back, I feel bad for using up all of his study time. He seemed okay with it, but he was probably just being nice. We agree on so much, and it was nice. He said a few things that could have been from my mouth — stuff that I though no one else thought/did.

I know that he is with someone else, and I'm not his type. Not having any pressure whatsoever is beautiful because I can be myself, and not have to worry about any sexual tension or future awkwardness.

I still feel vaguely guilty for wasting his time though....

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1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 13

Today had the potential to be terrible — my glorious little cold is getting progressively worse, I ache, and I had a class that I was kind of dreading. Still, I forced myself to go to the gym, because I skipped yesterday and I don't want to get out of the habit that I have worked so hard to create. I went about an hour and a half before class, planning to work out for thirty minutes, get dressed/do my makeup, and then have 20 minutes to get to class.

I forgot my shirt to wear afterwards, and I live 40 minutes from my school/the gym. I was panicked, and I rushed to Target to try to find something affordable and cute. I spent twenty minutes trying on clothes, and the only thing that I liked was this gray tunic/sweatshirt (it is way cuter than it sounds, I will have to post pictures.) Unfortunately, it was the most expensive item that I had picked up — $24. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I have had to do some car repairs/pay insurance, and it was about $1,000 more than I expected. I'm pretty tight on money at the moment, and I didn't want to pay that much for a Target sweatshirt.

Nonetheless, I went to the checkout with it, because I figured that it was better to spend $24 on something that looked good than $10 on something that looked terrible and would only be worn once.

I got to the register, and it was on clearance for $5.95. Seriously, best moment of my day. I asked the woman who was working at the register if she was sure, because I didn't want a mistake to cost her or the store, and she said that it rang up correctly.

It was beautiful, and it is super comfortable and shaped well enough to be worn with heels.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 12

This tattoo is one of the most awesome things ever. I love the quote, and I would love to have this tattooed about five inches below my neck, between my shoulder blades. 

Beautiful.

Via

Tuesday Tidbit

I rarely get a cold, but when I do, it completely and utterly destroys me for what feels like forever.

I tend to try to continue living my life as normal, and then drink a bunch of tea. I think that my complete and utter ignorance of the fact I'm run down is probably the reason that it lasts so long. I'm sure that if I yielded to it, I would get over it faster, but life stops for no one. As long as I can move, I'm moving.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 11

Finding a movie you haven't seen before streaming on Netflix.

I have this fantastically awful cold at the moment, and I was looking for something new to watch that wouldn't be overwhelmingly depressing. This movie is hilariously sad, and I'm going to have to read the book.

Interview options.

I'm applying to 2.5 billion different universities, and I'm hoping to at least get an interview from one. I don't have a lot of interview clothing, so I did some fantasy online shopping. All of these items are laughably far out of my budget (the chances of my being able to afford one of these dresses are better than me getting accepted to one of these universities though....)

I like the idea of making an old style fresh — I know that it needs to be conservative, but I need my clothing to be interesting, and I believe that these outfits would make me memorable. Surprisingly enough, I found more dresses than shoes — I found the perfect pair to wear with each of these!

via

I love this because it is a basic black shift, but not overly boring.

via

This is my favorite out of all of them, but is an unfortunate picture of it. I really liked the image of it on the Neiman Marcus site.

via

I love these shoes so, so much. They have personality, but are cutting and professional at the same time.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 10

Having an unexpectedly awesome conversation with someone you respect.

I went in to ask for a recommendation from my psychology instructor. I have mad affection for the woman, and I have taken three classes from her in the past year. Still, I was insanely nervous. She seems sad sometimes in class, and I have always wanted to talk to her, see what her deal is.

I went in, asked in the first two minutes of being there, and got a yes! Then I asked her another couple of questions, and we ended up talking for about an hour. It was fantastic! We talked about music and technology, and I feel kind of sad that we didn't talk much before.

I occasionally feel a sort of disconnect with my instructors, so connecting with her was beautiful.

Monday Muse

I'm continuing on the workout song trend — exercise is one of my major goals for the next few months, and you can expect to see a lot of this.

Deafening by Far is AWESOME! Seriously, I love love love it. It makes me a little angry and intense, and helps me push myself harder!

Download the single here!

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 9

Junk drawers are a beautiful thing. I always try to get rid of mine, thinking that I can find a place for everything and have my entire existence be neat and tidy.

Today, I gave in and created one. I have had a bunch of little clutter that I use just enough to keep, but not enough for it to cease being clutter. I created it, and now my room is perfect — at least looks-wise.

Beautiful.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 8

Clean sheets — I always sleep so much better that first night after my sheets are washed. I have no idea why, because I wash my sheets once a week, and I usually shower before bed. It isn’t like I ever allow my sheets to get nasty, but there is something amazing about curling up in warm, freshly laundered sheets that makes me happy.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 7

Friday. Friday is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I get to sleep in tomorrow! Friday means that classes are over, and all I have to worry about is getting to bed, and contemplating what I’m going to do tomorrow night. It means that maybe, I will wake up in the morning and not have my nose all messed up! Yay!

Friday. A beautiful thing.

Merging the blogs

I over think everything. I did poorly on a test this term because I changed three answers before I turned in a test — answers that I had gotten right in the first place, but I finished the test way before everyone else did and re-thought everything. I would have had a perfect score if I hadn't changed it.

I'm panicking over my Georgetown application — thinking of everything I could have, or should have added. I'm fairly certain that I will be rejected, and I'm already devastated — they haven't even received my application yet.

I had planned to keep my life and my fashion/beauty blogging separate. I was doing that to be more appealing to the reader, more interesting. Honestly? This is who I am. I am not just sky-high stilettos and shockingly bright lipsticks. I am a living, breathing human being.

I panic over school and finances. I wonder if I am attractive or obnoxious, if I annoy the people around me and if I will be successful. I get a cold every now and then, and I get tired. I get frustrated when people cut me off in traffic, and I like my coffee burning hot and my water ice cold.

I am an extremist. This is my life.

Via

1,001 Beautiful Things: Days Five and Six

I’m attempting to die at the moment, and I fell asleep with my computer last night! I’m drinking lots of tea and overdressing like mad to maintain my usual all-out speed, but I’m soooo ready for the weekend!

#5: Mailing out something of importance. Yesterday I mailed out my transfer application to Georgetown University. I’m at a community college at the moment, and I’m a bit nervous about my chances of being accepted. However, I’m almost relieved that it is out of my hands, although I keep remembering about a billion and a half things I could have/should have added to make it stronger.

It is finished, and now I sit and panic.

#6: Dinosaur egg oatmeal. I don’t like oatmeal, but my siblings love it. I walked out to the kitchen to get coffee this morning, and my sister was heating water. I saw her bowl on the table, and her oatmeal had little speckled eggs on it. I watched her pour the water and stir it in, and then something awesome happened: The eggs hatched into little dinosaur shapes. It was adorable.

These are the things that make life beautiful.

Tuesday Tidbit

I always find it vaguely surprising when people show up in things like ratty sweatpants or pajama pants. I realize that it is a community college, but I try not to leave the house looking too terrible. My fall back outfit is a fitted fleece sweatshirt that I got on sale for about $5, a pair of dark skinny jeans, and a clean walking/running shoes of some kind. Whenever I go out like that, I always try to make sure that my hair looks good, and I am wearing a bit of makeup.

Why?

Because I have met people who I never would have guessed I would meet while out and about. Even if you don’t think that you are going to see anyone, you should prepare for it.

My classmates sometimes disgust me, because they put forth no effort whatsoever. I’m not asking for them to spend a lot of money, but for them to put an effort in. These are the instructors that are going to be giving you a recommendation for the next step. Wearing worn-out spongebob pajama pants and a torn up sweatshirt while playing WoW isn’t going to impress them.

Maybe I take it too seriously, but I recently interviewed for a position at my gym, in an area that I never work out in/go near. The woman interviewing me recognized me, and said that she had seen me a few times before, working out. She said two or three times throughout the course of the interview that I am very regal, and that is what she thought when she saw me working out. I wear Target workout gear. Trust me, I’m not trying to impress.

But I always put my hair in a neat ponytail or braid, and I come in after class, so I have a bit of makeup on. Just enough to say that I realize that I am in public, and in view.

I would much rather be overdressed than underdressed if I have an impromptu meeting.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day Four

That clean face feeling.

I love makeup — the ritual of it in the morning, going out and feeling like I look good.

I love removing it at the end of the day more.

I am a night person, and I tend to remove my makeup as soon as I get all of my “official” business done — classwork, etc. After my makeup is off, my teeth are brushed, and my moisturizer/lip balm has been applied the night becomes mine. I relax, post here, and read other blogs. It is a huge part of my wind-down time at night, and I miss it on those nights I get lazy.

I curl up in bed, smell the lightly herbal scent of my moisturizer, and smile.

Beautiful.