1,001 Beautiful Things: Days 32-38

Accepting that people change. My family has had an insanely difficult time realizing that I am not what they want me to be — I am far more intense than they are, and for a while I tried to calm it down. Lately, I have just been myself, let them do/say what they want and not taking it too personally. I think they are hoping that I will become the submissive creature I tried to be, and I am a disappointment. I won't let go of who I am to be who they want me to be, and that is a good thing.

Being right is a beautiful thing. I chose an answer during a psychology class that maybe two other people in a class of forty chose, and I stuck with it. I was right, and I have to say that it made me happy. I really put an effort into my education, and it paid off in a beautiful way. Yes, I am easily pleased.
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I am really uncertain about my future. I still haven't heard back from either school, and I am panicking a bit. I always have a plan, and I always have a plan B, C, and D. This time, I don't. A part of me is terrified, but another part of me is a tiny bit excited. (Smoking is bad, and I don't usually do smoking images. I really like this image otherwise, I'm sorry if it offends.)

Cuddling with someone who loves you. In my attempt to make him happy, I am becoming a bit happier. I don't believe that we will be together forever, but I love making people happy, and I make him happy. I'm becoming more and more okay with this relationship. He tries so hard. 

♥

Spending four hours that you were supposed to spend studying just messing around and doing nothing. B and I met up with our books, and we were going to spend a few hours reading and discussing them. Unfortunately, I have the attention span of a flea. We ended up discussing random stuff and napping. It was beautiful. 

 New makeup! I got my order from Shiro cosmetics and will be posting a review on Friday! 

♥

Living more for today than for tomorrow and yesterday. I am horrible about my planning. I never do anything today because it might affect tomorrow. I really want to get my tongue pierced, but I won't because I'm afraid it will keep me from getting a job. I'm never excited for today because I have X, Y, and Z to look forward to in six months. I am so tired of waiting for my life to start, and counting down while my life flies away. I have been putting more and more effort into living in the moment, and I hope that it pays off. I want to be a more free person. I've just turned 19. I have never done anything impulsive or reckless. It is time to begin my life. 

    All images via weheartit. Message me for credit/removal of your image! 

1,001 Beautiful Things: Days 25-31

Doing better in something you love. This is the second term that I've taken ballet, and I really love it. The instructor complimented me on my form, and it made me smile. Will I ever be amazing? No. But I want to be the absolute best that I can be.

Being more responsible. Lately I have actually been writing down appointments and assignments in my little diary, and actually checking it and following through. It is very nice. 

♥

Dressing up, even when I don't feel like it. Sometimes I get a bit reclusive and distant when I'm tired/hurt. This week I've been pretty tired, but I'm still forcing myself to do my hair, nails and makeup. I actually feel better afterwards! 

♥

Choosing to act happy for someone else's sake. I have decided to give it another go with him. He says that I make him happy. I will put an effort in, and I will really try to be more positive whenever I am around him. Our relationship ended because he got snippy with me, and I just turned off. I will try to stay "on" this time. 

Watching my skin clear up. I have been using tretinoin cream for the past two weeks in an attempt to clear up my skin. Initially, it got really bad. It is just now starting to clear up, and it makes me happy. 

♥

Doing something useful when I can't sleep. I have had a bit of insomnia lately because I have been a bit worried about college applications/interviews. When I get worried, I exercise more and somehow sleep less. I used to try to force myself to stay in bed, try to convince myself that the nighttime yoga and Sleepytime tea were going to kick in soon, and I just needed to stay in bed. Now? I get up, read some blogs, do my nails, tidy up my bedroom/bathroom, something. If I am going to be awake, I'm going to be productive. 

Guess what? It actually helps me manage to fall asleep eventually! I guess the lack of pressure helps. 

All images from weheartit, if it is yours please let me know and I will credit! 

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 25

I have this friend — I love her, but she can be a complete and utter cow sometimes. Today, however, she gave me the most unexpected unintentional compliment.

She told me that I've never been the hookup type.

I'm not the type of girl who wants to get married, and I never have. I don't like the idea of being chained. Some take this view to mean that I like to sleep around/can't commit. That isn't true, and it was nice to know that she sees that.

I like committed relationships, mainly because I don't want diseases/I really, really like cuddles. Really. I mean cuddles in an innocent way — the idea of coming home to someone after a wretched day makes me all warm inside. I just don't need to be married to be committed to someone, and I don't believe that you only have one great love in your life — I believe that you can have two or three people who you really love, and who love you with all of themselves.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 24

Getting an unexpected email that may or may not mean something.

I got an email to set up an alumni interview from Georgetown. I will be meeting on Friday, and I have no idea if this means that I have a fighting chance, or if it is just another hoop that they set up for everyone. I want this.

At least it means that they opened my application and didn't instantly want to throw it away?

1,001 Beautiful things: Day 23

Watching a terrible movie on Netflix, and not caring that I've wasted my time.

I'm usually so busy during the term that I am significantly displeased if I waste two hours on something mediocre.

I watched American Psycho 2, and it was terrible. Guess what? I didn't care! It was actually kind of hilarious, and I just sat there and enjoyed the insanely unrealistic plot.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 22

A new perfume. I have loved Flowerbomb since the first time I smelled it, but never bought it because I my now-ex boyfriend hated it and a close friend called it old.

I bought myself a bottle of it on Friday, as a celebration of my nineteenth birthday and my surprisingly awesome grades this term. I put it on, and I feel beautiful.

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1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 21

Birthdays.

Today was my nineteenth birthday,  and I'm dead tired. Details tomorrow :)

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 20

Getting complimented on something you are a bit insecure about.

I know that my hair color has become a bit of an ongoing thing here, but I have just felt kind of meh about it lately — like maybe I'm too pale for the black, and so on.

Today, someone complimented me on my hair, and it was a relief. I try not to put too much stock in people's opinion of me, but sometimes the comments add up and make me doubt myself. This one compliment did a lot for me, and it strengthened my resolve.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 19

I took my last final for the term today, and it is one of the most beautiful feelings ever.

I now have over a week to do absolutely nothing, and it is fantastic.

Beautiful.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 18.

Unexpected bits of niceness. I had to go in to get a report from my college dean for a transfer application, and I was in a bit of a rush. I didn't notice that I needed to bring a stamped envelope, and I was sort of blushing over how unprepared I seemed.

The woman who filled it out was quite nice though, and said that it was very common to forget the envelope. She filled out the paper, put it in her own envelope, and sent it out for me. It sounds cheesy, but it really made me happy.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 17

Making a choice and sticking to it.

I dye my hair, and right now it is a blue-black color. I don't really look goth, but I am pale. I worry about seeming goth, and someone commented on it, and it freaked me out.

For the past two weeks I've contemplated going back to brown, even though I really love my current color.  I decided today that I'm not going to cave, and I'm going to continue dying it — life is too short to yield to someone else's opinions.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 16

I know that two tea posts in a row may seem a bit excessive, but I occasionally forget my tea and leave it on the counter/table/easily accessible area. I have four cats, and they love tea more than I do – my cat will come to bed with green tea breath all the time, and it always makes me smile.

Seeing my Evee with her nose in my cup is truly a beautiful sight.

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1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 15

The sound that Splenda makes when it dissolves in hot tea is beautiful. I have mad affection for Sleepytime Vanilla tea, and I have a massive cup of it every night — with a decent amount of Splenda in it. I love that moment when I pull the tea bags out, and pour in the Splenda and listen to the popping/fizzing sound of it dissolving. Beautiful.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 14

I know that this has been a recurring theme lately, but I had the most awesome conversation with a guy from class today. I talked to him for two hours, and looking back, I feel bad for using up all of his study time. He seemed okay with it, but he was probably just being nice. We agree on so much, and it was nice. He said a few things that could have been from my mouth — stuff that I though no one else thought/did.

I know that he is with someone else, and I'm not his type. Not having any pressure whatsoever is beautiful because I can be myself, and not have to worry about any sexual tension or future awkwardness.

I still feel vaguely guilty for wasting his time though....

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1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 13

Today had the potential to be terrible — my glorious little cold is getting progressively worse, I ache, and I had a class that I was kind of dreading. Still, I forced myself to go to the gym, because I skipped yesterday and I don't want to get out of the habit that I have worked so hard to create. I went about an hour and a half before class, planning to work out for thirty minutes, get dressed/do my makeup, and then have 20 minutes to get to class.

I forgot my shirt to wear afterwards, and I live 40 minutes from my school/the gym. I was panicked, and I rushed to Target to try to find something affordable and cute. I spent twenty minutes trying on clothes, and the only thing that I liked was this gray tunic/sweatshirt (it is way cuter than it sounds, I will have to post pictures.) Unfortunately, it was the most expensive item that I had picked up — $24. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I have had to do some car repairs/pay insurance, and it was about $1,000 more than I expected. I'm pretty tight on money at the moment, and I didn't want to pay that much for a Target sweatshirt.

Nonetheless, I went to the checkout with it, because I figured that it was better to spend $24 on something that looked good than $10 on something that looked terrible and would only be worn once.

I got to the register, and it was on clearance for $5.95. Seriously, best moment of my day. I asked the woman who was working at the register if she was sure, because I didn't want a mistake to cost her or the store, and she said that it rang up correctly.

It was beautiful, and it is super comfortable and shaped well enough to be worn with heels.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 12

This tattoo is one of the most awesome things ever. I love the quote, and I would love to have this tattooed about five inches below my neck, between my shoulder blades. 

Beautiful.

Via

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 11

Finding a movie you haven't seen before streaming on Netflix.

I have this fantastically awful cold at the moment, and I was looking for something new to watch that wouldn't be overwhelmingly depressing. This movie is hilariously sad, and I'm going to have to read the book.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 10

Having an unexpectedly awesome conversation with someone you respect.

I went in to ask for a recommendation from my psychology instructor. I have mad affection for the woman, and I have taken three classes from her in the past year. Still, I was insanely nervous. She seems sad sometimes in class, and I have always wanted to talk to her, see what her deal is.

I went in, asked in the first two minutes of being there, and got a yes! Then I asked her another couple of questions, and we ended up talking for about an hour. It was fantastic! We talked about music and technology, and I feel kind of sad that we didn't talk much before.

I occasionally feel a sort of disconnect with my instructors, so connecting with her was beautiful.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 9

Junk drawers are a beautiful thing. I always try to get rid of mine, thinking that I can find a place for everything and have my entire existence be neat and tidy.

Today, I gave in and created one. I have had a bunch of little clutter that I use just enough to keep, but not enough for it to cease being clutter. I created it, and now my room is perfect — at least looks-wise.

Beautiful.

1,001 Beautiful Things: Day 8

Clean sheets — I always sleep so much better that first night after my sheets are washed. I have no idea why, because I wash my sheets once a week, and I usually shower before bed. It isn’t like I ever allow my sheets to get nasty, but there is something amazing about curling up in warm, freshly laundered sheets that makes me happy.