PERSONAL.

I am always unsure as to how personal I should get on this blog. Is it frustrating for those reading it if I get more personal than just makeup and clothing? I don't know. 

Right now I've been trying to make some life-changing decisions. Nothing life-or-death, and I know that people make decisions that are far more life-changing than this on a daily basis, but for me, they are intense. 

I want to go to a university about an hour away from where I presently live. It is about as expensive as the one in my city, but offers far, far more for my major (pre med/gen bio.) Unfortunately, they don't offer anything for my boyfriend's major. We really don't want to live apart, but I don't want to give up the opportunities that this university offers, especially without a guarantee that he is in this forever.

I have about a week to make this decision. If I go to this university, I don't know that we would be able to make it. If I stay, it will be far more difficult for me to get into med school. I just don't know what to do, and the anxiety is killing me. I love him so, so much. I would be faithful to him, and I know that we could still see each other on the weekends. I just don't want to be the only one doing the driving, and he refuses to buy a working car for himself. 

I just wish that I could see a little bit into the future, see how this all works out. I really don't know what to do, and I'm usually very decisive. 

I know I have been sort of absent lately, and this is why. I have written a billion and a half pro/con lists, though about it for hours, and have given up hours of sleep for this. 

I'm lost. 

(Although, my makeup looked fabulous today, but refuses to photograph well in the dim light of this coffee shop while I write this post.)